Thursday, October 29, 2015

Book Banter Topic Four: High School Love

Often, while reading our favorite YA books, Jenny and I will cross paths when it comes to the subject of falling in love as a teenager.. or in high school. This scenario happens over and over again in our favorite books and Jenny will often say.. this could never happen! And I'll say.. but it does! It happened to me! And then it goes from there!

The problem with this topic is...I agree with much of what Jenny has to say and I told her I wasn't sure if we could truly argue this one decently. But we've decided to go ahead just to put it out there! We want to know what you think! But I'm going to present my post differently, without the rebuttals and all. I'll just paste our thoughts... first Jenny's and then mine.

JENNY'S THREE REASONS: No, you can't fall in love in high school.

1 No reality
High school kids live in a different reality than adults. They still live with their parents. They sometimes done't even have a job or a car. They don't have bills or kids of their own (hopefully). Basically High school kids don't have any responsibilities besides doing homework and getting good grades. I'm not lashing out at high school kids, I'm just saying. There's a complete difference that comes in a relationship when reality sets in. Having all the responsibilities that I mentioned above and sharing them with another person is what really tests that light infatuation and turns it into love.

2 Selfishness
No kid that chases the love of their life into the underworld or the lair of a vampire or werewolf (you get my point) to save them is a good selfless kid. This kid isn't talking to their parents, they often ignore any good decent advice they do get and run headstrong into a situation that could get them killed with no thought on how that might effect their parents, their friends or even the other kid they are "rescuing"! That kind of attitude does not reflect love but selfish, immature infatuation.

3 Levels of Love
I guess what I'm saying is this: No kids in high school are not capable of love. Infatuation? Crushes? In like? Yes, maybe, but not love. Love often starts with all these things but love doesn't come until you've faced the mundane ins and outs of life in all it's boring glory. Love comes in levels and you can't get to the top level in high school for all the reasons I mentioned above. You just can't.

SUEY'S THREE REASONS: Yes, you can fall in love in high school.

Graduating from high school
with my future husband. :)
1. I lived it.
Yes, I’m one of those people. I started dating my husband in January of our senior high school in year. Probably three months later (I can’t really remember the exact moment!) I was pretty sure he would be in my life forever. We had ups and downs of course. And we still waited a long time before we got married (three years) but it all began in high school and it was real and true and all that! I always like to say that I enjoyed being 17 because when I was 18 suddenly things were serious and real. Not to say that was a bad thing, but it definitely felt like something changed that year. So having lived it, I can say for certain that it CAN happen in high school.

2. I’ve seen it.
The example that always stands out to me is my grandma’s sister, my great aunt, someone who I knew (know actually, as she is still alive) fairly well. She got married at age 15. And not during a time when this was normal. (I think I remember my grandma saying that she, her older sister, was pretty freaked out by this!) I’m not sure the year they got married but I’d guess it to be late 50’s. So 15 even at that time, was pretty shocking. (And no they were not pregnant… at least I don’t think they were!) And anyway, they had a long and happy (I assume) marriage which only ended when my uncle died a year or so ago. I’ve always been impressed with her story and I’m sure there are many more examples like hers out there.

3. Anything is possible! 
I can’t really think of another reason, except for the the fact that anything can happen really. And teenagers can most certainly find their soul mates at a young age. I do agree that they shouldn’t make major life decisions (like my aunt did!) when they are so freaking young, but by 18 or 19 (even though that is still so freaking young!) they can pretty much know what their gut and hearts are telling them. (I’ve had sisters and sisters in law get married this young and all is well… so far!) I think that high school love stories in the YA books we read are so much fun because it does touch that romantic place in all of us and gives us the satisfaction of a great storybook happily ever after.

My Bottom Line: While it isn't highly ideal for kids to fall in love in high school, it happens. It happens all the time. And some of them make commitments that last a lifetime and some of them make commitments that fall apart... just like any other relationship that gets its start at later ages.

Let us know what you think! Do you think kids can fall in love.. "true" love... in high school?


  1. Aww! Cute picture! This one was hard. I do believe kids can fall into the first stage of love in high school, infatuation, but twuu rovvvv? Nope.

  2. That picture of you and Stuey are awesome! I love it! I think I agree with both of you, lol. Can I do that?

  3. I might be a little cynical, but don't think that you can find true love in high school. Your family seems to be the exception, so I'm impressed! Unfortunately, all of my friends who married their high school sweethearts are now divorced and on their 2nd or 3rd marriages. Teens are just too immature to get married at that age IMO.



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